Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Being a father
Not having a father growing up but having 4 step dads that left and my real father then dying at 12 has left me in a challenging spot when it comes to my children. It is unfamiliar territory for me when it comes to understanding how to connect with my children in a way that will let them know that I truly love them with my whole being.
When it comes to my daughter I just feel so powerless to connect in a way that I think she truly feels loved by me. I want her to be able to just spew every thought she has in her head to me without fear. I want her to be able to laugh with me, joke with me, or just sit with me.
I want her, when she is 20 to think, my dad loves me so much that any boy i have in my life has to measure up to that love. But I feel I am failing in this. Some days I find myself too short temepered. Other days I don't spend enough time with her.
The same goes for my son Joshua and Ethan. Joshua imparticular is a smart young boy who is so eager to learn. I feel as if I fail him by not being more of an inspiration. I don't want to write anymore.
Peace.
When it comes to my daughter I just feel so powerless to connect in a way that I think she truly feels loved by me. I want her to be able to just spew every thought she has in her head to me without fear. I want her to be able to laugh with me, joke with me, or just sit with me.
I want her, when she is 20 to think, my dad loves me so much that any boy i have in my life has to measure up to that love. But I feel I am failing in this. Some days I find myself too short temepered. Other days I don't spend enough time with her.
The same goes for my son Joshua and Ethan. Joshua imparticular is a smart young boy who is so eager to learn. I feel as if I fail him by not being more of an inspiration. I don't want to write anymore.
Peace.
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