Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Being a father
Not having a father growing up but having 4 step dads that left and my real father then dying at 12 has left me in a challenging spot when it comes to my children. It is unfamiliar territory for me when it comes to understanding how to connect with my children in a way that will let them know that I truly love them with my whole being.
When it comes to my daughter I just feel so powerless to connect in a way that I think she truly feels loved by me. I want her to be able to just spew every thought she has in her head to me without fear. I want her to be able to laugh with me, joke with me, or just sit with me.
I want her, when she is 20 to think, my dad loves me so much that any boy i have in my life has to measure up to that love. But I feel I am failing in this. Some days I find myself too short temepered. Other days I don't spend enough time with her.
The same goes for my son Joshua and Ethan. Joshua imparticular is a smart young boy who is so eager to learn. I feel as if I fail him by not being more of an inspiration. I don't want to write anymore.
Peace.
When it comes to my daughter I just feel so powerless to connect in a way that I think she truly feels loved by me. I want her to be able to just spew every thought she has in her head to me without fear. I want her to be able to laugh with me, joke with me, or just sit with me.
I want her, when she is 20 to think, my dad loves me so much that any boy i have in my life has to measure up to that love. But I feel I am failing in this. Some days I find myself too short temepered. Other days I don't spend enough time with her.
The same goes for my son Joshua and Ethan. Joshua imparticular is a smart young boy who is so eager to learn. I feel as if I fail him by not being more of an inspiration. I don't want to write anymore.
Peace.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Decisions
Oddly enough, after facing some catacalysmic days nearly 3 years ago up until about 6 months ago in various areas of personal and work life, my life is now at a point of continued interest. What I mean is having made various choices that caused much disruption in all aspects of my life I am now at a place where work is going well, my family life is going well, and my spiritual (however this is to be defined) life is going well.
There are a number of options that now lay before me. I could write a book, do schooling on the side, learn a new language, run a marathon, etc. but to be honest I kind of want to do all of them. What to do first is the big one for me. I am running regularly again and will aim for a half to full marathon in October. I think schooling on the side right now may not prove wise due to time and money. Learning a new language would be fun and keep the brain active. The one I wish I was able to do is the book. I have so many thoughts in my head but I am unsure which book to write. There is the auto-biographical narrative I have started but it seems daunting. It began as a concept surrounding my decision in 'Leaving Evangelicalism' but I am wondering if I would be better served in separating the concepts or simplifying my original idea into a more focussed auto-biographical narrative with fewer themes then I was originally intending.
Instead of writing the great American novel perhaps I should simply attempt a simple novel. Anyway, because I have never done this I am struggling with process and structure.
What is nice is having a clean slate to work from.
There are a number of options that now lay before me. I could write a book, do schooling on the side, learn a new language, run a marathon, etc. but to be honest I kind of want to do all of them. What to do first is the big one for me. I am running regularly again and will aim for a half to full marathon in October. I think schooling on the side right now may not prove wise due to time and money. Learning a new language would be fun and keep the brain active. The one I wish I was able to do is the book. I have so many thoughts in my head but I am unsure which book to write. There is the auto-biographical narrative I have started but it seems daunting. It began as a concept surrounding my decision in 'Leaving Evangelicalism' but I am wondering if I would be better served in separating the concepts or simplifying my original idea into a more focussed auto-biographical narrative with fewer themes then I was originally intending.
Instead of writing the great American novel perhaps I should simply attempt a simple novel. Anyway, because I have never done this I am struggling with process and structure.
What is nice is having a clean slate to work from.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Loose Change: An American Coupe
http://www.youtube.com/user/facing42#p/f/16/0omwIkfpmOs
This is part 1. Most of the parts are on Youtube but cna't find all of them.
I found a full version here. Looks pretty good.
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/eHFAtL7ak70/
This documentary isn't my favorite and has, like the originals some factual flaws or issues that are not addressed.
This is part 1. Most of the parts are on Youtube but cna't find all of them.
I found a full version here. Looks pretty good.
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/eHFAtL7ak70/
This documentary isn't my favorite and has, like the originals some factual flaws or issues that are not addressed.
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